How to Be Liked and Admired

To be successful, people need to like you. If people dislike you, you fail.

So how do you get people to like you?

A bad solution is to pretend to be someone you are not. For example, Joe pretends to be from England and talks with a British accent. He thinks it will help him get a girlfriend. Jane meets Joe and thinks he's interesting because of his accent. However, when Jane finds out Joe has never been to England, she can't trust Joe and no longer likes him.

Another bad idea is to be rude or disagreeable. You think, "When people are nasty to me, I want to make them like me. So I'll go around being nasty to people and they'll want me to like them." Of course, being mean to people just makes them afraid of you and so they try to seem non-threatening. They, of course, do not like you.

Another bad solution is to beg for admiration. You ingratiate yourself to people, meaning you bow down and kiss their feet. It does not make them like you. For example, on Jill's first day on the job, she tells her boss, "Even though I've just met you, I can tell you're absolutely brilliant! I've never worked for a boss as awesome as you. I will do anything you want me to do, just ask." Her boss instantly dislikes her.

Trying to make people like you usually makes them like you less. However, doing the opposite, actually works!

"DON'T DESIRE TO BE LIKED OR ADMIRED. Don't give a darn, because if you start giving a darn you won't be liked or admired." -- L. Ron Hubbard

The Solution

"The only way, really, to be liked or admired is to not care if you are liked or admired but to act most any way you please. And you'll be surprised at how many people will like and admire you." -- L. Ron Hubbard

For example, you meet a new customer who acts like a big shot. You want him to like you, but he won't even look at you. He just gives you orders. So you don't give a darn and just act like yourself. The customer starts to like you.

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