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Monday, September 25, 2017

Funny but not funny

Funny but not not funny (Author unknown)

Husband:* Honey I will buy a new mattress on my way home. The one we are using is no longer comfortable.

*Wife:* That's my Love ! But wait o, where will you get the money?

*Husband:* I heard that Mr. B will pay our arrears today.

*Wife:* I always know that man will perform. Please Darling, don't forget the wristwatch you promised me o.

*Husband:* With all pleasure My Love.

5 hours later, the man arrived home in his car. Pin... Pin... Pin he blared his horn. The woman ran out to meet her husband.

*Wife:* Honey welcome (collecting her husband's briefcase, leading him into their sitting room).

*Husband:* You are always wonderful.

*Wife:* Where is the mattress and my wristwatch ?

*Husband:* Which mattress ? Abeg gimme my food. I never see alert o, the thing na rumour o.

The woman broke down weeping profusely.

*Wife:* Honey please forgive me......huuu huuu .

*Husband:* (loosing his patience) Dear what's all these now, what happened ?

*Wife:* Honey please forgive me oooooo..... I I I I...

*Husband:* (perceiving some odour, and looking out of the window). What's smelling like this, where is this smoke coming from ?

*Wife:* (still weeping) Huuu, I have burnt our mattress, I thought you would buy a new one truly, you know it is no longer good.

*Husband:* (furious, with a changed countenance). What ! You did what ? You must be joking. You will go back to your father's house today if this is true. You burnt the #500,000 my contribution money I hid in the mattress for us to roof our house.

*Wife:* Yepa ! You mean you have such huge amount in this house and you didn't tell me ?

*Husband:* If I get you today, I will show you who I am. (With this, he ran to the backyard where the smoke was coming from. Seeing the ashes of the burnt mattress, he fainted.

*Lesson 1:* Never hide anything from your wife, she's your better-half.

*Lesson 2:* Never run faster than your husband, he's your head.

*Lesson 3:* Don't rely on arrears or unpaid income to plan your home.

*Please forward to all married men and women on your list*
And to those planning to *Marry*

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